I believe that as human beings our
relationships with others help contribute to our health and well-being. They
help us feel safe, supported and valued. Research has shown that people feel
better just being around others. I feel very fortunate to have many close
relationships in my life. Each has enriched my life in some way. Some have
helped influence my values and beliefs and in others I feel accepted for who I
am and receive the support and encouragement I need. I am unsure as to what my
life would be like if I didn’t have those relationships in my life.
Among the many relationships in my life, the relationship I share with my husband, our three year old daughter and my parents are extremely important to me. My husband and I are extremely close and very much attuned to what is going on in each other’s life. We will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this December. Looking back, I can see how our life experiences over the years helped strengthen our relationship. Not long after we got married, we left our family behind in Sri Lanka and moved to the US so my husband could attend graduate school. When we arrived in the US neither of us had a job and we didn’t have a place to stay. We had about five thousand dollars, four bags and a graduate school placement. We faced many challenges during the first few years. We didn’t have anyone to turn to but each other. The fact that we didn’t have a lot of extra money at the time helped us appreciate what we did have. Small gestures of love made our relationship more meaningful. When I arrived home at the end of a long day after working two jobs, my husband would meet me at the bus stop to walk me home where he would have a delicious dinner waiting for me. He was unable to work due to his student visa status but found creative ways to support our family while I worked to support us financially. I truly believe that these experiences and our shared Faith in God is what made our relationship what it is today. My husband continues to be an incredible source of support. He is always there to calm my fears and concerns and he has taught me ‘not to sweat the small stuff’. He allows me to have my moments when I do, and knows that sometime I just need him to listen. He taught me that our relationships and the people in our lives are more important than anything else. It is easier to replace material things than undo hurt feelings. God, our commitment to each other and open communication continues to serve as the foundation of our relationship. Although our days our extremely busy and tiring, we make it a point to talk to each other several times during the day, make time to do something special together like cuddling on the couch watching a movie and most of all take the time to talk to each other about our day and plan for the next before we go to sleep.
My husband and I have a very close relationship with our little daughter. She has brought so much love into our lives and helps us stay in perspective. Listening to her pray and thanking God for her milk, pizza, the sun and the birds outside her window reminds me not to take anything for granted. In the car on the way home from work or while having dinner we usually take turns talking about our day. It warms my heart and I feel valued when she asks me ‘How was your day Mommy?’ When she calls out ‘It’s my turn to talk now’ I am reminded how important it is for each of us to have the chance to voice our thoughts and be heard. I always allow her to be heard and try to negotiate without immediately saying ‘no’ to something she is asking for. I always remind her that if she wants me to listen to her, she needs to listen to me as well. As any three year old, she speaks her mind and voices her feelings openly. It makes me realize how important open communication is to our relationships. No matter how tired I am or how much I have to do, I make it a point to spend quality time with her each day and be there for her when she needs me. I hope that as she grows up we will be able to share the same close relationship that we do now.
I am thankful for my parents for who I am today. They helped my values and beliefs and have been very positive role models in my life. They taught me the importance of hard work, the value of an education and most of all Faith in God. My parents were a good example of what it means to be in a committed relationship despite facing challenges. Miles separate us but we continue to share a very close relationship. We call each other at least once a week and update each other on what is going on each other’s lives. I feel loved when my Mom calls me from half way around the world to warn me of bad weather in the US! I value my parents’ opinion and still talk to them before making any major life decisions. I feel sad that I am unable to see them and spend time with them as often as I would like. That just makes the time we do get to spend with each other even more meaningful.
One of the most important things that all my relationships have taught me is the importance of open communication. I was never much of a talker, but my husband has been key in getting me to open up to talk things through when we faced challenges. I have also realized that often times, the reason we both would get into conflict with our daughter is because we didn’t take the time to listen and understand what she is trying to say. I try to be a better listener. Accepting each other and valuing each for who we are and not trying to change each other, is an important lesson I learnt in my marriage. We have both learned to compromise and meet each other half way. We try to have discussions versus arguments. I view my relationship with my husband as a partnership. We are both equally invested and committed to our family and take the time and effort to make it work.
My relationships have taught me much and as an educator, I bring much of who I am into my work. I believe that the many lessons I have learned such as commitment, open communication, active listening, the willingness to compromise and accepting each individual for who they are versus trying to change them will help me be a more effective early childhood professional.
