Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Microagressions was not a concept I had been aware of prior to this week’s readings and learning. I now realize that I have previously been a target of microagressions. I also realize that in my ignorance that I may have made comments to others that can be considered as microagressions as well. 

While reflecting on this concept, I remembered instances when microagressions were directed at me. As an Asian, over the years I have had many people show surprise at how fluent I am in both speaking and writing English. It is likely that their initial assumption on meeting me is that as an immigrant I will not have a good grasp on English. On the contrary, growing up in Sri Lanka I received a bilingual education and was taught ‘proper’ British English. Just this past week, my colleague and I were waiting in line to order lunch and trying to decide to what to order. When I told my colleague what I had selected she jokingly said “What? You are not getting the curry chicken? In each of these instances, I was not offended but annoyed nevertheless that people make assumptions and make comments without being fully aware. 

I recall another time in which I made a comment to a co-worker that I now realize can be perceived as a microaggression. My co-worker was describing how her Ipad was stolen from her bag while at a coffee shop and how she ran behind the man who stole it. She was able to retrieve it eventually. She was surprised that someone would dare to do so in a crowded place during the day to which I commented that he might not have expected her to give chase like she did. Being in 60’s my co-worker clearly took offense that I implied she was targeted because of her age. I realized my mistake soon after I made the comment but it was a little too late since my comment had already offended my co-worker. 

During the past week, I was fortunate to have been able to attend the NAEYC conference in Washington D.C with my colleagues. The conference was attended by an incredibly diverse group of early childhood professionals. Several of my colleagues and I were trying to decide which restaurant to have lunch at when a Caucasian colleague talked about how a friend of hers confused Korean cuisine with Chinese cuisine to which one my Asian colleagues commented “Oh! It’s just a white people thing!” My colleagues and I are very close and these comments were made in good fun to which no one to offence to. However, under different circumstances the person at the receiving end may have ended up feeling rather uncomfortable. 

Reflecting on these instances in which microaggressions were displayed, I realized how easily our words can cause hurt or damage to another although that may have been far from our intentions. I realize how important it is choose our words carefully when speaking to others to ensure that our words will not unintentionally offend them or harm them in any way.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

This week I asked two of my colleagues and my husband to share with me how they define culture and diversity. The people I spoke to varied in gender, sexual orientation, religious background and ethnicity. 

The first colleague I spoke to is a heterosexual female raised in the Jewish tradition. She defined culture as ‘The environmental and social interactions that a human being experiences that gives the individual a sense of self and belonging. According to her, ‘Diversity in the social context is a blend of different cultures within a community’. The second colleague I spoke to is an African American homosexual female. She defined culture as the way a group has been taught to live and diversity as many different cultures. The last person I spoke to is my husband who is Sri Lankan and a Christian. In his view, culture is a set of unwritten rules and ways of behaving within a certain community that is practiced and cherished. He elaborated on what he meant by unwritten rules and behaviors by providing the following examples. Within the Sri Lankan culture it is understood that unmarried women do not live alone as is the practice that the youngest son in the family is heir to the ancestral home. He described diversity as a set of attributes that differentiates one community/individual from others in a unique way.

            All three individuals I spoke to provided rather broad definitions of culture. However, I think in their own way each touched on aspects of surface culture and deep culture. My colleague’s definition of culture as the way a group has been taught to live encompasses aspects of surface culture such as traditions, food and clothing, as well as aspects of deep culture such as values and beliefs particular to a group. The examples my husband provided reflected the deep culture among Sri Lankans in how they view the role of women, family structure and roles within a family. In addition they all mentioned how culture influences or helps shape an individual’s identity. All three of them had similar views with regards to diversity. They focused on diversity as aspects that make individuals or communities different from each other, yet unique. While all three of them talked about aspects of culture and diversity we have discussed thus far in this class, none of them mentioned the concept of family culture although they referred to group culture. 

            Reflecting on the answers I received, I realized that culture means different things to different people. It made me realize how important it is for me to make myself aware of what culture means to those around me as it may differ from my own views. In addition, with regards to diversity I realized how important it is to only consider differences that make a particular group unique, but consider differences among individuals within a group as well.

My Family Culture

My assignment this week is to think about a scenario in which a major catastrophe destroys my country and culture forcing me to leave everything behind and move into a completely new culture. I would only be allowed to take three items with me and therefore need to carefully select items that best represent my family’s culture. 

The first item I would take is a family photo album. Family photographs are extremely important to me as they help preserve many wonderful memories. My albums include photos going back several generations including photos of my great grandparents and my grandparents, photos from my childhood and my husband’s childhood in Sri Lanka and photos of our time together as a family here in the United States. They include photos of extended family some of whom I have never met, photos of places my family has visited and photos of special moments like family weddings, birthdays and holiday celebrations. The photographs essentially tell the story of my family. 

The second item I would take with me is my grandmother’s Bible. It was given to me by my grandfather after my grandmother passed many years ago. This Bible not only represents our family’s Faith but is of sentimental value to me because it belonged to my grandmother. It contains notes handwritten by her and is a symbol of her own Faith. It is a constant source of strength. Someday, I hope to give it to my own daughter.

The third item I would take is a small jewelry box that belonged to my paternal grandmother. It contains several pieces of jewelry that are of sentimental value to me. It contains my paternal grandmother’s wedding band, my maternal grandmother’s wedding band and a gold cross given to me by my parents when I was baptized as a child. The wedding bands have the initials of both sets of grandparents engraved in them along with their wedding date. 

            If I were told that I had to choose only one item I would feel quite devastated as all three items are of great value to me. While the Bible and jewelry hold great sentimental value, if I had to choose one item I would choose the photo album as it would be the one tangible item that represents who we are as a family. It would be the only way future generations would be able to know about our family. 

            Although choice and not circumstance led me to find a new culture in the United States leaving behind my family’s culture in Sri Lanka, I can relate to wanting to hold onto items that best represent my family and my own identity. My albums have been especially meaningful to me in introducing my daughter to family members she has never met and places she has never seen. I show her the Bible and the family jewelry and talk to her about her great grandparents. I have always been a sentimental person, although I have never been one to place much value on other material items knowing that material items can be taken away or destroyed anytime. However, I realized that if faced with the possibility of losing everything that I am familiar with, I would want to hold onto some of those items of sentimental value as it would not only be a source of comfort and strength but a symbol of my identity in a place of unfamiliarity. The main insight that I gained from this assignment was that in the event that I couldn’t hold onto any tangible items, my family and I would still be able to preserve our family’s culture through our Faith and the closeness and memories we share together as a family.