For this week’s assignment, I asked my husband and my
co-teacher to evaluate my communication skills. I was surprised to find that
all that the three of us felt similarly but pleased because I felt that it is
an indication that their perception of me is similar to how I perceive myself. In
the communication anxiety inventory, I earned a moderate score. I do well
communicating in both one-on-one and small group situations, but have extreme
anxiety about addressing a large crowd and both my husband and colleague are
well aware of that. The listening scale indicated that I am a people-oriented
communicator. I am generally a quiet person and tend to listen more before
speaking. As the results indicated, I am very trusting of others and over the years,
experience has taught me that while being empathetic towards others, it is also
wise to be cautious so as not to cloud my judgments.
In the verbal aggressiveness scale, my scores placed me in
the moderate category. As my score indicates, I try as much as possible to
maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for the viewpoints of
others and argue facts rather than attack a person. However, I was almost
expecting different results from my husband’s evaluation because I am fully
aware that I sometimes have a little less patience when communicating with him
and other family members and am more vocal about my opinions in the comfort of
our home environment than I am at work and in other professional settings. I
was somewhat surprised yet pleased to hear that he feels that I do communicate
respectfully and consider the viewpoints of others. My emotions often get in
the way of being able communicate effectively, especially when communicating
with my family. I try harder to not let emotions interfere in my work life
since I am very aware that it would be very unprofessional. I am fully aware
that I need to try harder to keep my emotions in check and make sure I am being
respectful at all times, especially when interacting with my family.
One of the main insights I gained this week was how our
self-concept and self-esteem impact how we communicate with others. According
to O’Hair & Wienmann (2012), our self-concept shapes what we think of
others because our perception of others is related to how we perceive ourselves
and this in turn impacts how we respond to others in different situations. I don’t
consider myself to be a strong communicator and often question my abilities and
therefore often shy away from becoming involved in situations that would place
me at the center of attention. I found it interesting that while our
self-concept influences how and when we communicate with others, the
information we get from interacting with others helps us to develop, confirm or
change our self-concept. I realize that by putting myself out there instead of
shying away will help me develop a stronger self-concept which I hope will also
boost my self-esteem and in turn help me become more confident in my
communication both as a professional and in my personal life.
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication.
New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Hi Keshika,
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh out loud at your comment regarding how you felt your husband would score you higher on the verbal aggressiveness. I thought the exact same thing! :) Although he also scored be as moderate, his number was slightly higher than mine and my work colleague. I believe it is true that we let our guard down more with our family and do not filter ourselves as much as we do in other environments. Plus, we know that they love us even when we are angry and grouchy. Doing this exercise was very insightful though - and it shows how much we need to be aware of how others view us.
Hi Kesika,
ReplyDeleteIn response to your post, it was one that I liked reading. Knowledge is definitely key to success and when we are able to relate to each other then it is of utmost importance that we know how we go about doing thus. Very well said about how you perceive yourself as well as how others do in return.
Kesika,
ReplyDeleteI appreciated how you shared your shyness is speaking, yet with the perceptions of others, it can give you more confidence in areas where we struggle in. This week's assignment helped me that way, as well. Even though I may think I am not that great in certain situations, my other evaluators reminded me that I do have successful experiences and can continue to take courage in that.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Keshika,
ReplyDeleteI also felt the same way about my fiancé. I thought he would have scored me a lot more aggressive also. I liked what you said about the more you put your self out there to develop a stronger self-concept. I do not like to speak publicly, so I hope the more experience I get the more confident I will feel.
Thanks! Christina
Hello Keshika... I too was surprised at my husbands response to questions. I found out that I was harder on myself than he was. It's always fun to see how your spouse perceives you.
ReplyDeleteKeshika,
ReplyDeleteI think most people are more aggressive with their family. This assignment was insightful to me because both my husband and my director (the two who know me very well) rated me very similarly, however, colleagues who don't know me as well rated me as having very low communication anxiety-which is so far off the mark. But, that told me that people perceive me much differently than I perceive myself and that gives me a little boost in my confidence. One of my goals is to attend our community chamber social hour get-togethers every month and force myself to speak with new people.
Crystal